MAY 2011

Hello  and welcome to the May 2011 newsletter – the first one for this year and already we are getting ready for the May Day holidays and of course the Royal Wedding.

Christmas has passed and just about forgotten, postage has gone up AGAIN, and everything has gone up with the increase in VAT at the start of the year.

The start of this year was a bit of a double whammy for price increases as most of suppliers put up their prices in January anyway, but with the added increase of Vat, it has made some items appear to have increased quite considerably.

Wherever possible, we have held prices down and searched out other suppliers to keep trying to achieve the best prices we can. I am happy to say that we have managed to hold the prices of most of our ribbon, thanks to good suppliers.

You may notice with quite a few items around the shop that the same items on a hook will show different prices – this is not because we have gone doolally with the price gun, but is simply where new stock has come in and the prices are higher .We have not increased the original stock, hence the differing prices.

There are some bargains to be had with knitting needles.  We discovered a few days ago that some of our knitting needles are not the size stated. They are almost half a size larger. So, these are all being sold off at just £1 per pair to clear. They  are fine if you are knitting scarves etc, where a half size will not make a difference,  or alternatively, if you wish to use them to make garments, then please do a tension swatch to ensure you are ok. We have replaced the stock with Pony needles, more expensive unfortunately but at least they are accurate.

People complained that the last newsletter was a bit boring in that it did not contain any gossip and scandal, so I hope that this one will not disappoint in that section.

The end of last month saw my 60^th birthday – I am still trying to keep it a secret, so don’t tell anyone!

John promised to take me away for a few days break and I decided I would like to go back to Alderney in the Channel Islands. Most people say, “Is that the one with no cars?” when you mention it, so before you ask, No, it has cars but is still very quiet, pretty well nothing to do except enjoy the scenery, walks, good food and lovely friendly people. No crime (or at least very little – after all, where would they go? – they can’t get off the island easily). Very laid back, as the taxi driver said who collected us at the airport, “no one rushes around on Alderney, except from pub to pub!”

It’s a 40 minute flight from Southampton in a tiny little prop plane that holds about 12 people, and the pilot turns in his seat to talk to you as you are seated immediately behind him, and he lands the plane by looking out the side window to judge the distance and miss the fence that surrounds the runway!

This needed quite a bit of planning as we had to arrange for my sister to come and stay at our house to look after Mum and I needed to get some form of photo ID.

For any of you who may not be aware, to take a plane now, from any airport in the UK, even if you are flying to a UK destination or as in our case, the Channel Islands, you have to have a passport or at least a photo ID. This presented a small problem, as I did not possess nor have ever possessed a passport. My driving licence was the old paper type, so I found I did not have any photo ID.

Decided it was time to get a passport. Oh yes, if you have had one before you can get a new one very quickly, but if you have never had one, as in my case, you had to allow at least 6-8 weeks. Part of the new process, after you have sent in all your documents, they then write to you to arrange for a one to one, face to face interview. Our nearest interview area was Portsmouth!  It would be quite a performance and I certainly did not have time to apply. So, next best thing and had to be quicker, I would apply for a photo driving licence. Boy, that was an understatement. They seemed to be very geared up to getting all the info from your passport, if you say you do not have a passport, they don’t seem to quite understand. I was told “well, if you are not prepared to let us see your passport……..” I explain again, I do not have a passport and have never possessed a passport. Ah, that is the wrong thing to say as then, they appear to become suspicious.

Eventually after providing original paper driving licence, signed photos (as you would for a passport),  birth certificate, marriage certificate, p60 and CRB forms they eventually sent my new photo driving licence with about 4 days to spare before the trip!!

I guess most of you are used to the travelling through airports these days, but it was quite an education for me.

Excited at the new experience of going through the x-ray machine, but totally shocked at having a body search the other side!

I had forgotten how I seriously feared flying, and although I love the take offs and landings, once up in the air I suffer almost panic attacks. Feeling sick, then faint, then panicky, then looking seriously at the red escape handle on the door and pleased that it is in fact along the seat in front of me….If it were by my seat, I swear I would have to pull the handle! Yes, really that bad!!

We spent most of the 4 days walking around the island, enjoying the fresh air and fantastic scenery. Took loads of photos and generally relaxed. The weather was fantastic, and even the wind dropped which was a real bonus for Alderney. All in all, a good break.

I have been trying to make some space in the stock room – one plan was to empty out an old filing cabinet.

In one drawer I found copies of old newsletters going right back almost to the original ones in 1998!

It was quite amusing to see that in the early days, the newsletter was fairly short and the subject was mainly what was new or selling well in the shop. Then, in one, we wrote about one of reps, Paul who was so very accident prone. I wonder how many remember him deciding to aerate his lawn with the fork, going round stabbing it in hard and then suddenly going through his own foot! He could not drive for a week so was off work but realised he had chosen a really good week to do it as it was a mega week for his world cup football on the TV.  Oh dear, then he found out he had not only stabbed his foot but has also gone through his TV cable – so no TV.!!

Well, you so loved that story that we started including more and more and then adding the jokes……….hence how it is made up these days.

So think it may be time to tell you about anything new in the shop.

DOUBLE KNIT PURE COTTON – in 100 gram balls, mainly pastel colours at only £3.99  per ball.

Due to popular demand we will be offering mail order on a larger majority of our stock, including knitting wool, ribbons , threads and fabric.

We will be updating our website with full details but for those of you who do not have access to the internet and we know a lot of you do not, then please do not hesitate to ring us for prices and stock availability and we will be more than happy to send anything through the post.

It would be lovely to produce some form of catalogue of the items that we sell, but with the volume that would be too expensive but we are working on a solution.

Prices of some of our other wools are as follows:

Special DK ( acrylic, washable/tumble dryer) £1.99 per 100 gr ball.

Marshmallow: fancy easy knit £7.99 large ball

Brushstrokes : DK-Acrylic/Wool/Mohair  machine washable. £3.60 per 100 gr. Ball

Life Chunky ; 25% wool. Machine washable. £ 2.99 per 100 gr. Ball

Aran with 20% wool;  £8.50 per 400gr ball.

A lonely stranger went into a deserted restaurant and ordered the breakfast special. When his order arrived, he looked up at the waitress and asked, “How about a kind word?” The waitress leaned over and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat.”

Three drunks hailed a taxi. The taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch. So what was that for, he asked. Control your speed next time, you almost killed us.

After much deliberation and lots of requests from you, we have taken on some fabric!!

I guess mainly for the quilters and patchworkers but much of it would make lovely garments. All pure cotton and all designer fabric such as Kaffe Fasset etc, but really gorgeous fabrics.

There will be fat quarters of all and also available by the metre.

We must have spent a good 2-3 hours choosing from literally hundreds of samples and I just hope we have chosen the right selection for you. I am hoping they will start arriving by the time you receive this newsletter.

Of course, we are not panicking as to where we are going to put them………that is already decided. The problem is going to be, where do we put the stuff that is currently in the space we want for the fabric?

Initial order was for just over 30 bolts, which we hope to be able to increase in time.

A noted heart surgeon was having a formal party. Shortly before the guests were to begin arriving he was told that all the bathrooms were backed up and not flushing. Quickly he called a 24 hour plumber listed in the phone book. The plumber arrived quickly and within 15 minutes told the surgeon that all was well. He gave his bill to the heart surgeon and the surgeon exclaimed, "£ 900? You were only here 15 minutes! I'm a heart surgeon and even I can't charge that much"! The plumber quietly replied, “Neither could I when I was a heart surgeon".

NEW IN – WEDDING FAVOUR CIRCLES – Pointed edges or petal shaped edges, white and cream
Only £8 per 100

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour!
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by  pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)     (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed.

A WORD FROM JOHN

We’ve taken another little step in to the 21^st century by getting a broadband connection in the shop, the main reason being to enable the card machine and the phone to be used at the same time.  But internet access comes with it, so now we can reply to emails faster;  we don’t have to wait until we get home.

Another gadget I got for Christmas was a Satnav which, one day in February, made me feel brave enough to drive to the middle of London instead of taking the train.  This was for an advanced training day on my computerised mount cutter at the supplier (hereon to be known as ACME framing supplies) that I bought it from in Hackney.

Pat was adamant I had to take all cautions against the car getting stolen or broken into and wanted me to take the train.  When I assured her I could do the trip, she insisted that I remove all my registration / insurance documents from my glove box and went a bit mad when I told her that my passport was in there with them!  I removed them to keep the peace.

The day should have cost me £90, but it ended up costing me £364:50!

Once inside the M25 I was totally at the mercy of the Satnav, which, instead of taking me through the Blackwall tunnel, took me through the city.  I wasn’t aware I wasn’t heading for the tunnel until I went OVER the Thames and saw the Gherkin in front of me!  My £90 training day fee had now increased by a £10 congestion charge.

I arrived at ACME in Hackney; couldn’t see anywhere to park so drove around the side streets.  All on-street parking seemed to be full and above the parked vehicles I could see the signs, all saying ‘permit holders only‘.  I was already late.

Then Pat rang me to see how I was getting on - I told her (hands-free via the satnav, don’t you know)  I couldn’t find anywhere to park.  But just after that I did, right on Hackney road; about 200m away from ACME.  I could see the sign above a parked vehicle saying ‘Permit holders only OR 2 hours max, pay at machine’ YIPPEEEE!!  Parked, walked back to machine, £2:20 per hour (no change given) - paid £4:50, (total for the day now £104:50) placed ticket in windscreen, crossed road, jogged to ACME walked in to presentation.

Minutes later, Pat rang (well, vibrated actually, I took my time to answer, it was quite pleasant) again.

“Where are you”?

“I found a parking space, I’m inside”  I whispered, as I gesticulated my apologies and headed for the door.

“Oh, I rang ACME, they have some land just across the road where you can park”

“Well, I’ve paid for a space now, I’ll move the car later”

“But there’s a girl outside looking out for you - you’d better nip out and tell her you’re there”

I did; she suggested I go and get my car, I said no, I’d paid for a ticket and would get my money’s worth and move it at lunch time, shortly before the ticket expired.

Well, I went to do that and …. THE CAR HAD GONE!  I began to doubt if I was looking in the right area;  actually crossed the road and stared at the ground where I was sure I’d left it, and then, and only then, I saw some yellow ‘PARKING SUSPENSION’ signs on the same poles as the normal signs;  not covering the signs mind;  below them.  I had missed the yellow sign because it was covered by a parked vehicle, leaving the normal one visible above it.  Why was the ticket machine working and why wasn’t there a parking suspension sign on the ticket machine?

A guy leaning in a doorway, smoking, sauntered over “Looking for a blue Merc mate”?

“Yes”!

“’s’bin, like….  towed mate”!

For a few brief seconds I was actually relieved - it hadn’t been stolen!

A few phone calls located the pound and I was told I would need to produce registration document, insurance certificate, driving licence and photo ID (my licence is an old one, no photo) so it had to be my passport,…………………..….

ALL

THE

THINGS

PAT

TOLD

ME

TO

REMOVE FROM THE CAR!!!!

If it wasn’t for modern technology or if no-one at home had access to those documents and the internet, or if there was no-one at home, I would have had to make my way home, get the documents and return.

So, I rang Pat ….. “Guess what?  I need all those documents you told me to remove from the glove box, I need you  to scan them and send them in an email”

“Why”?

“The car’s been towed”

I suppose a lot of married couples would have had a right barney “YOU IDIOT, getting towed, what stupid thing did you do”?

“Well, if you hadn’t told me to (blah blah) I’d at least have the soddin’ car back now - THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS KEEP MY ######### DOCUMENTS IN THE CAR”!

Instead we had a good laugh.  The £260 reclaim fee sobered me up a bit though, which of course brought the day’s total spend up to the amount mentioned above.

I appealed of course - the signs not covering the normal signs, the ticket machine working and not having a sign on, left room for error, and I made it!

On the appeal form I had a choice of boxes to tick for my grounds;  the only one that suited was that the council had made a procedural error.

The appeal was rejected by Hackney council; the next step was an independent adjudicator, which I went for.  Also rejected, apparently signs that are to be read from a vehicle are head-on to the road;  signs that are to be read on foot are side-on.  So, next time you see a sign, from your vehicle, clearly stating that parking is permitted, park up and then look for signs contradicting that - OK?  I mean, that must be in the highway code somewhere, right?  The cop-out gist was though, that it is ultimately the driver’s responsibility to check.  But what I was being told IOW (in other words) was ‘don’t believe all you read”!

No - I think it’s more a case of had the adjudicator found in my favour, he would have been also stating that Hackney council had indeed made a procedural error and that could have had serious consequences for them, like making every fine they imposed that day, or for some time before and after, illegal.

I have to wonder, after genuinely not seeing these signs, if some councils/authorities deliberately leave room for error/don’t make things as simple and clear as they could be, so as to raise more revenue from the more innocent/trusting/less streetwise/etc - you know, normal people.  What’s easiest, fastening a sign to a round pole or to a flat sign?  Would disabling a ticket machine and/or covering it with a suspension sign leave any room for error/doubt?  This point was not mentioned in the adjudicator’s summary.

Did you know that Hackney council, at about £1.050 per capita, receives more money in government grants than any other council in the country; W Sussex is 5^th lowest at £150 and the lowest in the country at £125 is Wokingham, Surrey.

Still, although my day was written off from lunchtime it was kind of fun driving through the heart of London knowing I wasn’t actually lost (went back the same way too) and I did learn a bit more about my fancy machine.  Fancy a butterfly cut out of your mount?

The supplier was great too, they wouldn’t hear of me using my mobile phone to sort it all out, gave me a lift to the pound and told me that the next training day they do will be on them.  I’ll use the satnav again, but I’ve read the manual now!

This computerised mount cutter comes with thousands of shapes and fonts in its software, which can all be adapted. But when you get more advanced you can make it cut, emboss, draw or ‘V’ groove (where only the mount’s surface paper is cut away to reveal the core) any shape or font you like, copied or self-designed.  Some people even make art with these machines, but that’s quite a few satnav journeys away from this techno-notice (a few steps below a technophobe)

‘til next time, John

Ha, my version would have been better. From our end, we laughed so much that day that our sides were aching!

As for the appeal, well, they sent through 88 pages of documents including photos of the car so I guess he got his monies worth in a roundabout sort of way!!

As for all his documents, I see they are all back in the glove box of his car INCLUDING his passport.

I have actually emailed our local police to see who is right about this and they say it is a definite No No to leave the documents in the car, especially his passport – they were actually horrified to hear this. So………..what else can I say? I have tried, in fact, I have really tried.

Funny thing is, it is a well known thing that people steal or break into cars for their satnavs, many people of which has programmed their home address into, so they have access to this information. He has been very careful with his one and programmed a different address into it so anyone stealing it, won’t know where he lives……………………..perhaps they won’t think to look at his log book, driving licence or passport!!

So come on folks, if you agree with me, help me start a campaign to make him see the error of his ways……………email ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ) , write to him, telephone him, or just give him a hard time when you come in the shop. Let’s see if we can put him on the right road for this one please.

Let’s face it, if the car should get pinched, I will the one getting all the grief over it, because for whatever reason, it will be bound to be my fault yet again, and I really could do without any more!

Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."

DOUBLE KNITTING PURE COTTON – At last we have got our act together and got this in stock – whoops, just realised I have already said that………ok ignore this paragraph, I will think of something else!!

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.
The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid hag was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
The cab driver hit a parked car.

A week before our holiday, I organised the planting of some 350 young trees at Mayflower Park as a community project. It was quite an extraordinary day. Around 40 people turned up to help and another half dozen chaps from the Payback Scheme. Everyone worked really hard, as despite test digs I had done earlier, the ground proved to be very bad in places, and at one stage we were even having to resort to pickaxes!!

The Youth Bus came along armed with volunteers and spent the morning making hot drinks and an endless supply of bacon sarnies. The smell of frying bacon wafting across the field was too tempting.

The weather held and a grand job was completed. I had a few trees left which I am growing on, to either plant elsewhere or replace any losses.

Talking of the bus, stop me if I am getting boring, but it does desperately need more volunteers to keep it going out in the evenings. Driver training is ongoing as well if you fancy driving it!

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

Back in January I had a major computer crash, really serious. It had to go away for major repair.

I have always said that I don’t do a lot on my computer, but then realised I had the year end books to do and  the VAT and it was all stored on my computer. Worse to come was I had forgotten to do any regular back ups and it was a harrowing time waiting to see if the computer doctor could save all the information.

I have to say, he did a brilliant job, and I managed to complete everything on time. A lot of other info however has taken me ages to find and put where I can use it and there is still plenty I have not found yet!

That’s one of the reasons why the newsletter is so late……..another excuse……………!!

I then recently dug out my old laptop that had given up the ghost about 3 years ago – being too mean to throw it away, and decided I would have a play with it to see if I could mend it and then could use it in the shop for various things – in particular, sending orders through which would save me a huge amount of time in the evenings. As it really did not matter if I totally messed it up completely, I played with it for days. It ran soooo slow every little job took what seemed like hours. Eventually, I managed to get all the rubbish that was causing the problems off the drive, restored it to factory settings, so it was as brand new and at the same time even managed to save all the data I had collected on it!. That was really amazing and I am pretty chuffed with myself as I really am not that much of an expert with computers. Best of all, once all this was done I had to re-install programs to make it do letters and spread-sheets but could not find my old disc (that had incidentally cost around £80 many moons ago) so I had a search on the internet and found a very reliable site offering a FREE program that would do all this and would be compatible with the stuff already in my computer. So, a very good result and now have it in shop, but as yet, have not had time to use it!!

THE CAT:
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.
The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.
Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.
We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.
Running, running, running; we're tired of running.
Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.
The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.
Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

RIBBON- We have some really gorgeous new ribbon in stock. Shantique, is a pure silk 2 ½ inches wide in colours you would only find in silk. Its £6.20 a metre, but lovely.

Then there is some other silk effect ribbon about 2 inches wide with ribbon flowers sewn onto it together with a few sequins. Difficult to describe but please have a look when you are in if you are looking for something that little bit different.

Several other ranges, including one which has an iridescent shine to it.

Also a 2 ½ inch wide double satin ribbon with pearls sewn on in regular spacing. This is quite reasonable at £2.60 metre and all the above would be perfect for weddings or that special occasion.

Also new in, is a lovely sparkly diamante ribbon. It has 2 rows of very sparkly diamantes and comes in 6 colours at £3.60 per metre.

NEW LETTER CHARMS FOR BRACELETS/NECKLETS. These little charm letters are made with good quality enamel in bright colours and you just thread them onto your cord to make impressive bracelets or necklets. A range of 6 different coloured bracelets ready to put your charms onto are also available.

All the charms and bracelets are £1 each. Would make good gifts for children and even adults.

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.

For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes.

That really get’s you thinking and if you are anything like me, wonder about checking some of those figures!

TATTY TEDDY – ME TO YOU.

DoCraft have now introduced quite a range of items for Tatty Ted and they really are very good.

First of all, their latest magazine (£2.95) has a free clear stamp of Tatty Ted. Now in stock.

There is a range of decoupage sheets, coloured sticker sheets, card packs and multiple project packs.

All of these are now in stock – arrived today and selling as we unpack the boxes. So, if you are a fan of this little chap, do check these out.

Also from DoCrafts – or I should say, back in stock, is the midnight fairy range. Absolutely exquisite colours in stickers, decoupage sheets and peel offs.
some real live signs spotted around:

On Friday 1^st April,  we had a very special morning only sale.

The flash stickers went up in the window together with all the special offers that could be had for those few hours.

Sale items were: ALL ITEMS TWICE MARKED PRICE.

BUY 2 , PAY FOR 3.

PAY NOW TAKE LATER (and other similar ‘offers’)

One poor lady came in quite concerned that we must have made an error because if things were twice marked price that would make them more expensive. Yes, we said, just thought we would try it,, but its only until midday. She tried to stay very polite while continuing to explain that the sign must be wrong. Eventually we said “GOTCHA”.

It gave a few people a chuckle that morning.

Practice makes perfect.  But nobody's perfect.  So why practice?

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... why learn.??

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Well that has to be it again. Will try much harder to get the next newsletter out quicker.

Thanks again for all your support.

Pat & John